I’d like to extend my thoughts from last week’s blog by saying this.
When I was a child, if I came home and everyone was in a foul mood, I was too. If they felt sad or upset or angry, it was contagious. I had no clear delineation between how someone else felt and how I might feel. I didn’t realize for many years the power of influence others had on me. Now I know I can take in situations as little or as much as I want. I recognize I am not at the mercy of others. This took longer than I hoped.
Perhaps you are curious why I am mentioning this.
When we put our children in time-out in order to calm them down, I cannot help wondering if it’s not really ourselves we need to calm. We may feel that their upset is our own, or that their sadness is ours. You see my point.
How does a person or a parent, refrain from being sucked down an emotional hole with others or with our children?
Many people tell me yelling triggers them. It reminds them of their childhood or some incident that they would rather tuck away. So many adults find it challenging to work within situations that are emotional. And yes, kids have a knack for being emotional.
Use tools to regulate your emotions when working with children. Take some deep breaths, pause, and just for a moment or two refrain from reacting.
Ask yourself, “What would be a mature way to handle this?”
“How can I settle myself first, before I expect my child to do so?”
“Am I asking more of my children than I am capable of myself?”
Let us remember children are our greatest teachers. Not all of their lessons are easy. So first, get calm. You will be glad you did.